After my personal tutorial with Marcella today I came away with small edits to make to my script in order to achieve a potential final draft. We spoke about making it clear what Rufus’ occupation was (as the groundskeeper and funeral director) and how it was difficult to raise awareness of it without detracting from the story the character goes through. In the end I decided to place in a small number of visual references to his job within the opening montage, things such as a busy business schedule calendar on the wall and him filling in undisclosed business documents in silence. I also included a small visual addition that communicates Death’s power more clearly on-screen, in the form of him placing down a rose on a tombstone (mirroring what Rufus does earlier) only to have it shrivel at his touch and snap as he places it down. As well as being an interesting visual I also think it serves an important purpose within the story as it not only showcases his powers that come into play during the resolution, but also communicates his guilt and sadness towards the death of Rufus’ wife.

 

With these two additions I feel that, apart from checking over structure and spelling, my script may be complete for the submission deadline.