Today I received some feedback from my script step-outline, and although plot-wise it remained positive, it informed me that maybe some of the scene’s intentions may have not been clear in the overall character arc of Rufus. As this was the last workshop for a week, the next thing I will be handing in is the first draft of my script – quite a step up from my step outline (although I included too much detail within the outline itself so essentially dialogue is what’s mainly missing). When trying to imagine the voice for my characters however they both seem to come across as quiet, whereas Rufus’ is a world-weary and stern quiet, Death’s seems to be more of a shyness and perhaps a timidity, though this may be difficult to convey onscreen as it could come across as the both of them are simply quiet in their own right. With this in mind, I decided to try and do a dialogue exercise where I write a useless scene of both Death and Rufus conversing between each other about anything. This will help me find the voices for both characters before I start my first draft, and may even change the way the characters interact with each other.
Death: Why have you never asked how I’m able to eat?
Rufus: It’s not polite to ask stuff like that, is it?
Death: Well the image of me out in society kind of paints the image that I shouldn’t be able to, technically it should fall straight on the floor-
Rufus: Well technically it paints the image that you shouldn’t have hair either so I think this image needs a bit more research *They both chuckle* … I’ve never been one to follow the images painted of people.
Death: Well you’re a bit out of touch with society in general so…
Rufus: I don’t need it.
Death: I’m not saying you do, I’m just saying that as a man who’s deliberately isolating himself you can’t then hold yourself to a higher ranking-
Rufus: I’m not above anyone! I’m just how I am.
Death: …well aren’t you stoic.
*Rufus Chuckles*
Rufus: You know if I could I’d punch you for that.
Death: Why do you think I do it?
The playful back and forth between them is nicely light-hearted and would contrast well with the dark and mundane themes present within the rest of the script. It could be used as a nice break between the more serious moments.